The List

Inspired by my good friend Landru, I have compiled The List. Unlike Ross I did not laminate it and reserve the right to alter The List without prior notice. So presented in no particular order.

Paz Vega


If you've only seen Spanglish, get out your universal translators and invest in Lucia y el Sexo or L'otro Lado de la Cama. You'll see what Spanglish only suggests. This Spanish beauty has finally found her way to America. Welcome Paz, I've got some extra room if you need a place to stay while you're here.



Penelope Cruz

Two Spaniards?!?! you say. The kings of Europe for a thousand years took Spanish brides. If you'd ever been there you'd know why. Want to see the real Penelope Cruz, Forget the English language remakes and see the originals Abre los Ojos, La Celestina etc. etc. Woman on Top is the only English vehicle that comes close.



Lucy Liu


Duh. All of that and a great sense of humor.


Kate Beckinsale


Only way she could be hotter is if she actually had the freaky blue eyes from Underworld. Only woman hot enough to overcome my mandatory 3 point deduction for smoking like a chimney.


Jennifer Connelly



She is the result, if I created a woman from scratch; talented, crazy smart, dark haired, light eyed, tall and curvy.


Honorable Mention

Roselyn Sanchez (because I just saw Yellow)


A stunner from Puerto Rico. Any questions, see Yellow. She sings, is a classical dancer and heats up Without A Trace. She has a face that could stop time.


There are many more Raven haired beauties that I would pay to watch read the newspaper, even a red head or two. Sorry Blondies you may have more fun, but there's only a few of you that can even get my attention. So if you're not named Mira Sorvino or Natasha Henstridge you need not apply.

As I said not laminated or anything. If Sandra Bullock, Selma Hayek, Maggie Q, Gong Li, Michelle Yeoh, Elle McPherson, or Angie Everheart were in a Hotel Lobby and needed a date I can swap on the fly. Benefits of having a liberal definition of the list I suppose.


My lady's list is more eclectic. And this is in a particular order. She loves the Crooners and the Baseball players.

Harry Connick , Jr; if you ever get tired of your underwear supermodel wife she'd leave me in a second and I don't think I'd blame her.

Michael Buble if Harry's still taken

Mike Mussina as long as you don't mention the Evil Empire, she just pretends you've been on an extended vacation.

Matthew McConaughey just send an audio tape and pile on the accent.

Christian Bale - Don't worry she hasn't seen American Psycho and I'll keep her away as long as I can.

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