I'm Once Again Announcing My Candidacy

My Fellow Friends,

(I couldn't decide between My Fellow Americans and the new fad, "My Friends") After much soul searching and prayer I have come to the conclusion that I am called to enter the presidential race. I have carefully vetted my resume and have decided that several previous experiences mark me for the highest office in the land.

Let me review the most salient:
I was Vice President of the Honor Society in my high school in 1987.
I was President of Catholics on Campus at CU in 1995
I was a three time conference champion 1986-88 (undefeated in that time) (Hey I didn't finish second like some candidates).
I have seen every episode of the West Wing and have Memorized the speech from the American President.
I can say the alphabet backwards in five different languages.

After reviewing this preponderance of experience, I have no choice but to declare my candidacy for the Presidency.

God Bless You and God Bless Paris Hilton my presumptive running mate.