Ladies and Gentlemen the Precident of the United States!

I have today decided to officially announce my candidacy for Leaduh of the Free World. (Que Neil Young)

I have formed, for this purpose, a party whose name reflects my single greatest advantage over my rivals in other major parties. The INADA party meaning I am Not a Dumb Ass.

Those of you who care to join me can derisively speak of the other candidates by saying "Yada, Yada, Yada." (I'm sure you can sort that one out.)

My Platform will be as follows
Catching America up to the rest of the civilized world by instituting:

• A 35 hour work week and mandatory 4 week minimum vacation to start.
  

What corporate America has negected to tell you is that with significantly more rest and time away from work, you the workers of the world will be healthier, more productive (and I mean overall not just per hour. Yes you will get more work done in significantly less time) and have a fighting chance at being happier and more satisfied with your lives.

• Near universal health care....Rich people will still have to pay for their own. I thought for a change it might be nice if we enacted a law the they pay for that benefits the rest of us.

Once again we are all losing money and efficiency by paying excess amounts to profit gouging drug and healthcare management companies.

• Using our military to establish real benefit in the world. I'm not one of those leftys that gets squemish at the talk of military force. I would be prouder of our government if they used this very precious resource to stop genocide in Darfur rather than to line the pockets of Oil companies and Defense contractors by fighting a made up war. Our service men and women are dying for our country and doing amazing things despite their leadership.

• Education would be the highest priority. Real education without talk of standardized tests and accountability. Where people learn what's interesting to them...for free.

• Litigation will be available only in the case of reasonable or willful negligence. Reasonable meaning meeting a minimum standard of generally accepted common sense. Leaving the gasoline next to the stove...negligence.

• The single greatest plank in my platfrom will be borrowed from the great Crash Davis I will pass a Constitutional Amendment banning Astroturf and the designated hitter. I weep for those poor 16 cities who never get a chance to see a baseball game. I would also include banning aluminum bats. Come on people! Bink! is not the sound of America's pastime.