Things to do in Portland When You're Probably not Dead but it's 3 AM so it's hard to be sure.

1. Try to curl as much of your total volume as possible into the two seat dorm love couch you've cornered.

2. Watch the rug Zamboni make it's rounds and wonder when the peewee hockey players are going to make their appearance.

3. Listen to the musical stylings of the guy snoring around the corner...wait is that Billy Jean?